Tag Archives: baby

TODAY…

Today marks the week my son will turn one. I pause as I write this, feeling the full weight of the words. ONE. It’s a pretty incredible feeling, something only a mother can know and otherwise impossible to convey. What I can convey, however, is the pure awe and relief I feel. WE SURVIVED. We survived and conquered, and while a few meltdowns were had along the way, we never lost heart. In fact, my heart has grown such an immeasurable amount that I fear it might explode.

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And watching him explore the world can only be described as magical. I often wonder what it would be like to view life through his eyes – everything so new and wonderful and mysterious. The kid oozes curiosity, his face forever glowing with an expression of sheer amazement. His personality is really something special (as any mother would say). I never knew a baby could have such an impressive sense of humor! But he isn’t such a baby anymore, is he? He’s growing up right before my eyes and it is so, so bittersweet. My little Snugglebug is gaining his independence, finding his confidence, and embarking on this adventure we call Life with zeal.

Little Munchkin

What really gets me, though, is the way he looks at me. I asked my husband the other day if he thought Greyson knew what love was. But looking into those eyes, I know the answer: YES, a thousand times. I am his life line, I am his comfort, I am his joy bringer and his laughter maker. I am the one who wipes away his tears, sings him solace, and kisses him goodnight, each and every night. Yes, he knows love, through the insurmountable love I have for him. And I can only hope he knows this love more and more through each passing year.

Happy Birthday Little Man. I love you!

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33 AND 11 MONTHS

Jeans and Tee

Time, where have you gone? It was only yesterday that I was bracing the storm of my 20’s, living the unrealistic lifestyle of someone that cared too much and not at all within the same moment. Yes, the days of drinking a little too much, allowing the remnants of the night to float by with abandon, and still finding the luster of the following day.

But somewhere between the long nights and drama-filled abandon, I slipped into the next chapter of my life, the decades baring down on me and pulling me into a world with more weight – and so much more depth.

I admit, the first two years in this third decade were not a cake walk. There was a lot of doubt, there were marital problems, there was a miscarriage. And then there was a baby and the most indescribable joy I have ever felt. The ensuing exhaustion and self-doubt didn’t kick in until later, but this comes with the territory, yes?

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Time, it still continues to fly, but the memories I now create are not only for myself, but for this little dude I like to call Grey (or Master of Destruction, depending on the day). And in less than a month, this amazing little person with be a year old. A year! It still boggles my mind that this kid is even mine, and to think I’ve had him for almost a year…just…wow.

I still find myself flailing a little – or, in some moments, a lot – but I somehow know in that all-knowing, sixth sense kind of way, that this third year in this third decade is going to be an amazing one. I feel like my legs are a little more stable, my feet more firmly planted, my head a little more in the game, and my heart exactly where it’s supposed to be…

Me & G

Happy (belated) birthday to me, happy (future) birthday to G, and welcome to the new and improved Modage Cottage! 🙂