Category Archives: PERSONAL

TRY AND TRY AGAIN.

Every Accomplishment Starts With The Decision To Begin - Typography by TheMotivatedType

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The best advice I have ever heard is this: just begin. So many people fail to accomplish their dreams simply out of fear of starting. And more often than not, that fear of starting is derived from a fear of failing…such a vicious cycle.

I know that I fall into that cycle 100%. I’m deathly afraid of failing. I can daydream all day long, of course, and often do. I have so many ideas running around my head – I feel inspired and motivated and full of passion, but when push comes to shove, I find myself stuck in the planning phase, become overwhelmed, and…quit. Frankly, I become paralyzed by my want for perfection.

But lately, miraculously, I’m more afraid of NOT trying than of failing. Perhaps it’s my 30’s finally kicking in and lighting a little fire under my ass.

This blog, for example, is my way of beginning (again). I didn’t necessarily fail in my previous attempt, but I became overwhelmed with what I considered “the competition,” and with a fairly spirited baby that refused to nap on top of my insane want for perfection, well, I just gave up. And more than anything, I really wanted to give my all towards this whole motherhood thing.

I still want to, and am giving my all towards motherhood, but that doesn’t give me the right to neglect myself. My heart is still in sharing, and designing, and creating. And I think I would be failing my child as well as myself if I didn’t pick myself back up, dust myself off, and begin again.

When you feel like quitting, remember why you started.

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I have no doubt that I will have a few hiccups along the way, and I am certain there will be moments that I am lacking inspiration, passion, a voice. And will want to quit. I may even have a few moments of radio silence. But somewhere along the way, I will remember why I started in the first place, and will find my way back.

33 AND 11 MONTHS

Jeans and Tee

Time, where have you gone? It was only yesterday that I was bracing the storm of my 20’s, living the unrealistic lifestyle of someone that cared too much and not at all within the same moment. Yes, the days of drinking a little too much, allowing the remnants of the night to float by with abandon, and still finding the luster of the following day.

But somewhere between the long nights and drama-filled abandon, I slipped into the next chapter of my life, the decades baring down on me and pulling me into a world with more weight – and so much more depth.

I admit, the first two years in this third decade were not a cake walk. There was a lot of doubt, there were marital problems, there was a miscarriage. And then there was a baby and the most indescribable joy I have ever felt. The ensuing exhaustion and self-doubt didn’t kick in until later, but this comes with the territory, yes?

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Time, it still continues to fly, but the memories I now create are not only for myself, but for this little dude I like to call Grey (or Master of Destruction, depending on the day). And in less than a month, this amazing little person with be a year old. A year! It still boggles my mind that this kid is even mine, and to think I’ve had him for almost a year…just…wow.

I still find myself flailing a little – or, in some moments, a lot – but I somehow know in that all-knowing, sixth sense kind of way, that this third year in this third decade is going to be an amazing one. I feel like my legs are a little more stable, my feet more firmly planted, my head a little more in the game, and my heart exactly where it’s supposed to be…

Me & G

Happy (belated) birthday to me, happy (future) birthday to G, and welcome to the new and improved Modage Cottage! 🙂